never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
