Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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