Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize