took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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