I hate your face
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
