In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize