he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
