My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm both gender and math confused
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize