Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
