You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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