I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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