WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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