She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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