You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
