We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
