Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i out mim tonsoeep
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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