how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you had me at cake vodka
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
