dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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