i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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