She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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