New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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