Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
