4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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