i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize