If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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