But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
