thus making me awesome and them whores
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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