remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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