Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
