WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
