I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
