I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
