never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
