we have officially lost it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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