i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
