what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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