My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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