I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
