i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize