My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
