Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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