Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My penis needs a shock collar
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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