Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
