hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize