i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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