i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
