So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
