i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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