But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
