I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
there's paper in my vomit.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
