haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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