yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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