I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
