I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pooping to opera.
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