Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
