There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
