If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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