JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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