Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
