toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
