my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
