We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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