Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
