yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
