He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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