We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
