A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
