i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
