May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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