I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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