Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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