a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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