What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
