she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
