the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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