she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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