apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize