8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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