everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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