Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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