vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
